Monster who lost the feel

Empty heart, abysmal ignorance, amicable pretence
This is my asylum, my atrocious contempt
Alluring roses, the charisma of nature, the merriment
As in my cadaverous state, it all seems to end in obliteration
Shunned by my human self, I annihilated the kind in me
Now merely a shadow, death itself abdicates me
Ambition, purpose and desire, my forgotten entities
Extinction, despair and dejection, now my only destiny
Lost as I was, no one to look to, left at abattoir
To be punctured and gashed, but I refused to break
I didn't cry, I never smiled, I forgot to die
I turned into a monster as I am now
My wounds still gaunt but abraded
I was forced to bled but didn't weep
I was stabbed to shreds but didn't feel
I was killed to extinction but didn't die
After all I am a monster who lost the feel